Laura's Life of Lies
by Angel of Hell 13
Summary: Laura (syd's mom) reflects on her past


Title: Laura's Life of Lies

Author: Shannon

E-mail: Daddyslilwitch13@aol.com or StolenMoments01@aol.com

Website: http://stolen-moments.net

Feedback: Yes please!

Distribution: CD, my site… all others please ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own Alias… I own the few characters in this story that have not appeared on Alias.

Summary: Laura (syd's mom) reflects on her past

Rating: PG-13 -- R

Classification: Drama/Angst --- little bit AU

Angel in disguise she was, but somehow you fell for her, until she broke your heart that day, and left you in the rain, but still I love you…

**Laura's POV**

                Killing someone would never be able to lose its appeal. A knife can slide into someone so easily that you can see it pierce the skin. A bullet can kill someone instantly, but not always painlessly.

                I always thought about that kind of stuff. I was always plotting ways to kill someone where I would and could never get caught. It took up my time so much that the people I worked with on the plotting, got a little worried about me.

                That was until Sydney. She was the most precious thing in the world and no one could tell me differently. My boss was a little shaken by the idea of Sydney being my entire world, but I didn't care. I took to mothering very easily. Jack seemed like the perfect father.

                My brother, Jason, took to Sydney instantly. He'd go to the park with her in her stroller. When she was one she said her first world. 'Uncle'.

                Jack wasn't too happy about Jason. I think he thought that Jason was acting like the father to Sydney. That Jason was pushing me and Sydney away. Of course, I had no where to be pushed. I didn't love him… I never would, but he didn't know that. He probably didn't care either. That's how it was… you couldn't tell what the hell he was thinking.

                That was until his sister Katherine moved to Los Angeles. She had lived in New York since she was seventeen and now she moved back here. I admit that I got jealous of her when I found Jack and her talking to each other when I got home. But it didn't faze me that much. 

                After a week of her being here, a friend of hers and Jacks died in a 'freak' accident at his office. I, of course, knew what had happened. The man was CIA and he was a danger to my agency. That simple.

                Jack took me to the funeral along with him against my will, leaving Sydney with Jason, against Jack's judgment. 

                The funeral dragged very slowly. At some point I tuned into what the man's wife was saying.

                "Gregory was a very sweet man. I remember him telling me that when he was six, he gave up his favorite blanket because he saw a homeless woman on the street."

                At those words I actually started to wonder about my work. I killed a man whose family had thanked me for coming. A man's whose daughter had hugged me and cried on my shoulder. What was I supposed to feel? I never felt any remorse before, why start now…

                But it was starting… when Sydney turned two, I was sent on an assignment to follow this one man for a week and then assassinate him when he went on his next mission for the CIA. 

                So, I followed him and found out his life. He had a family. One son and a wife. One dog, who they called Donovan. His wife did know about the CIA, but the kid wasn't as knowing. Plus, he lived across the street from Katherine.

                At some point I realized that I didn't want to kill this man… this family.

**Flashback**

                I slid down into the front seat of my car and watched as the man walked out of his house. Pulling my notebook from the glove compartment, I sighed. The black of the notebook was depressing, the sound of the pen on paper as I wrote his movements was fast.

                The man pulled out of the driveway and I continued my watching and waiting.

                When he got home that night, it was six o'clock. The window was open, so I could see in the living room and into the kitchen where his wife was cooking. His son was on the counter, watching her and him hug. After a minute, the man picked up his son and took him outside, I could see better now. 

                "Dad, you're gonna come to my hockey game when you get back right?" The little boy asked as he sat on the cold step.

                "Yeah, of course, Michael." The man put his hand on his sons head and looked up at the sky.

                I smiled slightly and drove away. How could I do this… I could never kill this person…

**Ends**

                The week went by quicker then I wanted, but I knew what I had to do. I smiled as I told Jack that I was going on a little trip. I packed quickly and left right after.

                I remember getting dressed at the hotel and waiting in the front of a large mansion for the man. William was his name I figured out. I remember watching him from a distance as girls flirted with him, but he never once flirted back. 

                The next hour went by in fast forward. I noticed everything the five minutes before he came out. I noticed the place where I was crouched was cold and very high up, since it was on top of a building. I noticed that the sky was filled with stars and that I really didn't want to do this.

                But as William walked out the door, I remembered why I was doing this. The thrill, the pleasure. Just kill him and then you'll be happy… right?

                So, I leaned on the edge of the building and aimed the gun towards him. The shot made no sound, but William did as he fell and so did the people around him as they screamed.

                I pulled myself off the edged and started breathing fast… that wasn't a thrill… that didn't fell like work to me. That felt like murder.

                I shivered the whole way back to Los Angeles. I was still breathing a little fast as I unlocked the door to the apartment. But I stopped breathing all together when I saw the house.

                This wasn't a Jack and Sydney mess. This was a mess that said 'robbery' all over it.

                "Shit." I muttered and walked around the mess. I looked around for the phone. It was off the hook on the floor. I picked it up and dialed a number. It rang five times before someone picked up. "Hello Katherine… is Jack there?" I waited until I heard him say hello to continue. "How long have you been gone from the house?" I listened as he told me that he stayed at a friend's house and Sydney had been with Katherine. "The house is a mess, we've been robbed. I'm gonna call the police…" I hung up without a goodbye.

                I called the police. They were coming now. I walked into Jack and my bedroom. It was a mess. I slid down to the floor and let my own tears fall. At least, if someone came I could say that my grandmothers' necklace was taken. 

                "Hello!" I heard a mans voice call. The police, I thought.

                "Yes." I dried my tears and walked into the living room. It was the police.

                "We have to ask you questions…" One of the two men told me. I nodded and picked up a chair to sit on.

                It didn't take that long. Jack and I decided that we'd stay at a hotel while the house was still a mess. Everyday I went back and cleaned it up a bit. Jason helped me and at times Jack did too. Sydney was a darling; she had gone into her room one day and started to fix things up in there. She was only two and wanted to help.

                "Mommy…" Sydney walked into the living room, where I was cleaning, with her favorite Teddy Bear in her hands. "Mr. Giggles didn't get hurt." She smiled sweetly and handed him to me.

                "Yes, baby. I see that. He has a little tear in his ear, but we can fix that." I held the bear to Sydney's cheek as if it was giving her a kiss. She giggled and hugged the bear. "You're third birthday is in a few days sweetie." I smiled as I pulled her into my lap on the floor.

                "Were gonna have the party right?" Sydney frowned at the thought and smiled again when I nodded.

                "Yeah. Theresa and Gregory and all your other friends are going to be there… but were gonna have it at Aunt Katherine's instead…" I nodded at her and she giggled again and got up.

                "I'm gonna go find Mrs. Giggles…" Sydney ran out of the room and into her own.

                I laughed and stood up as Jack entered the house. "It's getting better everyday." He smiled and reached out to me and hugged me.

                He left his arms around my waist. I slid my hands around his neck and smiled. "Yeah. I told everyone that Sydney's party is at Katherine's instead of here…" Jack smiled and nodded.

                "Ok." He shrugged my hands off him and took his arms away. He walked around the room, picking up small things that were still on the floor. Picture frames, little figurines, books. Anything that he could find. At some point his arms got full and he threw the things on the couch to sort out.

                I wondered what was going on in that mind of his.

                "Can you hand me the candles?" I looked over to Katherine and smiled as she handed me the candles and the matches. "Thank you for letting us have the party here. I'll help clean after everyone leaves." I was getting used to Katherine. She was a very nice person and I don't understand why I was jealous before.

                "Oh, it's okay." Katherine smiled and went to the window and sighed. "Sorry, it's just that there's this little boy across the street… his father died the other day." She sighed again and helped me put all the candles on the cake.

                "You guys ready?" Jack peeked into the kitchen.

                "Is Jason here?" I narrowed my eyes in mild confusion.

                "No, we can still wait. The kids are all distracted." Jack watched me nod. "Okay, I'll go tell everyone that we're waiting for Jason." He closed the kitchen door behind him.

                I went to the sink and threw a spoon in it. As I glanced up, I looked out the window. Across the street was the little boy. I remembered him instantly.

                '_Dad, you're gonna come to my hockey game when you get back right'… I looked at him as he sighed continuously and read a small book in his hands._

                "How old is he?" I asked Katherine even though I already knew.

                "He's eight." Katherine looked over my shoulder and out the window. "Only child too."

                "Why don't we invite him over for cake? I'm sure he likes cake even if he doesn't like all the other things that the little kids are going to play." I spun around to see her answer.

                Katherine smiled and nodded. "I'm positive he likes cake. I'll go ask him." She smiled again and left through the door from the kitchen.

                A few minutes later the door opened again. "Laura… this is Michael." She led the young boy inside the kitchen.

                I wiped my hands on my towel and shook his hand. He was only eight, but he stood up straight and he seemed like he was older… way older.

                "Hello Michael. It's nice to meet you." I looked down at him and smiled, he smiled back. That's when I noticed the dimples. Adorable. "Were just about to serve the cake, do you want some?" I watched as he nodded and I lit the candles, him helping me.

                "Were starting?" Jack walked into the kitchen. "Jason isn't here still…"

                "I know, but we can't wait forever. I'll talk to him later." I smiled at Jack and lit the last candle.

                "Hey, aren't you William's little boy?" Jack looked at Michael and tilted his head slightly.

                Michael swallowed. "Yeah. I live across the street." He pointed to the window and to the house.

                "Yeah, I heard about your dad. I'm sorry." Jack looked back at the kitchen door. "Come on. Let's leave them with the cake."

                I laughed and hit Jack playfully. "Come on; let's get this thing into the animals." Katherine and I laughed.

                I held the cake and as I entered the dining room, every started singing.

                "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Sydney, happy birthday to you."

                I smiled and set the cake down in front of Sydney.

                She closed her eyes tightly and leaned over and blew. All the candles went out.

                Everyone clapped and I realized that I was staring at the smoke coming up. I helped take the candles out of the cake. When I looked up, I saw Michael and Sydney talking.

                "I'm Sydney."

                "I'm Michael."

                "How old are you?"

                "I'm eight."

                "When's your birthday?"

                "November."

                The small conversation went on and on. I smiled at how my daughter could be a smart ass at age three. Just like her mother and father.

                When everyone left, I sighed and collapsed on the couch.

                "Goodbye Michael!" Sydney called from dining room.

                "Bye Syd!" Michael smiled and left the door open as he ran back across the street to his house.

                I got up again and shut the door. Katherine came into the room and started to clean up the streamers and balloons that had popped. I picked up all the cups and plates.

                When I got the things into the kitchen and into the garbage, I sighed. The phone was right there… I picked it up.

                I dialed the number and waited.

                'Hello, Jason here... Actually I'm not here… you get it. Leave a message after the beep.'

                "Jason, where are you?" I said into the phone. "It's Laura. Sydney's party just ended. You were supposed to be here hours ago. Call me at the house, it's clean." I hung up the phone and sighed again.

                "Can't reach him?" Jack walked into the kitchen and threw the popped balloons out. He walked over to me; my back was to him since I was looking out the window.

                "Nope. I got his machine." I leaned on the sill.

                "You'll find him and yell at him." Jack and I laughed as he slid his arms around my waist and planted a kiss on my lips. "I promise."

                I did find him… or at least the police did.

                "He's dead…" I muttered as I sat on my bed. The house was clean now, most of the stuff we had taken was found. 

                "Honey." My friend Trisha kneeled in front of me. "It'll be okay. He's somewhere safe now."

                "Don't give me that bull shit. When my mom died, my father gave me and Jason the same damn speech." I stood up quickly and went to the window, turned around and leaned on it, facing her.

                "Then you know it's gonna be okay." Trisha reasoned.

                "I wanna know who did it…" I muttered and then repeated it louder. "I'm gonna find out who did it."

                Trisha sighed. "Mommy!" I heard coming from the hall. "Mommy!" Sydney ran into the room and jumped on the bed, trying to hide behind me.

                Jack came into the room and smiled.

                "Daddy's trying to tickle me." Sydney giggled and jumped off the bed. "Tell him to stop." She ordered. Just like me, always telling orders, but never taking them.

                I looked at Jack and smiled. "You heard her." I winked.

                Jack smiled and walked over to Sydney. "Truce." He held out his hand and bent down so she could reach.

                Sydney nodded and shook his hand.

                "But Sydney… that doesn't mean…" I scooped her up and tickled her stomach. She broke down into laughter. "That I can't tickle you." I laughed and stopped. She jumped up and ran out.

                Jack left the room too. 

                "How do you do it? How do you go from sad to happy in two seconds?" Trisha got up and looked out the doorway to the two.

                "I'm used to it." I sighed and looked at her, smiling then frowning. "So, are you gonna help me?" I changed it back to our topic.

                Trisha sighed again and looked around. "Yeah, I guess."

                "Good." I smiled and went to my desk.

                Three years later I found out. But when I went to meet with them, I found out that they had packed up and left Los Angeles. The got scared of what was going to happen if anyone found out… chickens. 

                But it didn't matter anymore. My superiors, my bosses were planning something.

                It was hard to live with them breathing down my neck. They were trying to figure out what the CIA was doing now. I would tell them, but it got to the point were I couldn't stand it anymore. My daughter was six and my husband was becoming a little suspicious.

                My superiors decided to have me leave. But I told them I couldn't just pack up and leave. I had to go in a way that said I was never coming back.

                They planned a death sequence. I had my orders. I knew what I had to do.

                That night I told Jack that I was going to the movies with Trisha. I hadn't told him the week before that that Trisha was in New York with her sick grandmother.

                I stood in front of the Theater, waiting until Calder, the other agent to help, showed up. It took ten minutes.

                When his car came around and stopped in a parking spot, I slid into my own seat. I swear that I didn't want to leave Sydney. But when I started the car, even as tears streamed down my face, I realized I had too.

                I'd been going through my life with lies on the tip of my tongue. One last one, a big one, and I'd be done.

                The bridge was getting closer and closer…

                _Goodbye __Sydney__… Jack… Trisha… Goodbye Laura…_

                Twenty Two years later…

                I smiled and walked into the room. "I have waited almost thirty years for this."

                Sydney looked at me, tears in her eyes.

                "Mom?"


End file.
